Yeah, Emily and I were talking about your comment. Our friends here ARE good people, it's true, and we know it. But we feel like there is something that most of our readers still don't "get": tons of stuff happens here that we aren't let in on. The fact that we've been here a year and haven't heard about any spousal abuse doesn't mean it wasn't happening, it means that we don't communicate well enough to know. As a gracenote on all this, yesterday we were meeting with some of the leaders about an unrelated topic, and three of them took us into a corner to ask us to ask us if they should take a lady to the hospital, because her nephew beat her so bad she's having trouble seeing straight. "Um, yeah, you definitely should" we were explaining, when the mother of the lady in question piped in and corrected the leaders, saying, "Oh, that? I already took her. They said she'd recover, and they sent her home." The leaders dusted off their hands, realizing that everything was actually OK, and dismissed us. "Wait a minute," Emily said to the leaders. "Aren't you going to talk to the guy? Tell him that this is not acceptable behavior?" They looked baffled. She pushed the point again, and one of them put on a condescending tone. "Well, there's no point. He won't listen to us." And that was the end of it. So, yeah. it happens here a LOT, and we're only just scratching the surface. But you're right: there really isn't much we can do except show them another way, and let them ponder it some. They have to make the changes themselves. Just like everything else we talk about here.